Dancing With The Stars AKA What Happens When Your Cousins Give You Ideas For Blog Posts

Yes, that's a Masked Singer picture in a blog post about Dancing With The Stars. That's because it doesn't belong, and therefore is funny. 

Hello everybody!

I never in a million years would have imagined that I would ever be writing a blog post like this one, but like our good friend Alanis Morissette says, life has a funny way of helping you out when you think everything’s going wrong, which is exactly what happened this weekend. 

It’s no secret that I have really been struggling with coming up with blog posts. I can’t think of any interesting places that I haven’t written about yet, and the amount of interesting events in the area has quieted down at this time. The Masked Singer is currently on hiatus until next year, and it’s hard for me to come up with posts about it that are not celebrities that would be great for the show whenever it’s not airing. Match Game did not return this year, so I can’t write about it now. And no matter how hard I try, I almost always seem to lose interest whenever I write about cooking shows.

So, over the weekend, when I got to see so many amazing cousins, I opened up to them about my struggles with writing, and they were all supportive of me like I had hoped they would be. 

While I was talking with some of them, they gave me a very unique idea about what I could do. They told me that I should do write-ups of the upcoming season of Dancing With The Stars.

Initially, I was very hesitant towards this idea for a number of reasons.

First of all, I am not the biggest fan of the show. I mean, I have come around to it in recent years, but I’m not really sure by how much.

Second, I have essentially no knowledge of proper dance styles, and I don’t know exactly what makes a dance performance good or bad.

Also, the episodes are another challenge entirely. Even though it’s a live show, I can’t write about it in real time, because that would just be way too much for me to attempt to do. The episodes are also two hours long, so I would have to really determine what is important and what is not necessary to write about. Then there’s the issue of how I try to rewatch the episodes, as I don’t have any streaming services, I have no way of recording these episodes, and I don’t know if they get posted to ABC.com

So yeah, those are all the reasons why doing write-ups of Dancing With The Stars would be a challenge for me. And yet, I’m actually going to go for it and write about it. 

The truth is so many of my friends and cousins like the show, and after hearing them encourage me to write about it, I am going to go for it.

Normally, this would be the part of the blog post where I explain the show to all of you reading, but I don’t think I need to do that here. I’m positive that almost all of you reading have seen the show before, and all of you have definitely heard of it, and if you somehow haven’t heard of it, the premise is in the title.

As I have found myself creating so many different blogs for the various things I have written about, I don’t want to go to the trouble of creating another one, should I happen to give up on the season before it ends, so I am instead going to be posting these write-ups to my Masked Singer Blog. I feel this makes sense because the shows have the same casting director, there has been so much overlap among the contestants on both shows, and most importantly, it’s my life and I do what I want. A million points to everyone who knows what song this is, as well as who sings this song. 

I actually do have a bit of history with watching Dancing With The Stars in the past. The first time I really watched it and paid attention to it was Season 32 back in 2023, and that’s because it had so many celebrities that I cared about. I mean, they had Masked Singer Alums Barry Williams and Lele Pons, Ariana Madix, Jason Mraz, and Absolute Queen Of The World Alyson Hannigan, who is the greatest person ever and I will not hear anybody insult her in any way.

I then decided to start watching Season 33… and it was the most boring thing I had ever seen. I mean, they had two more Masked Singer Alums this season with Tori Spelling and Dwight Howard, and I can’t remember a thing about their time on the show. The only things I remember about this season are the fact that Anna Delvey, a convicted fraudster, was a contestant, wore an ankle bracelet during her time on the show, and when asked what she would take from the show after being eliminated, her response was “Nothing.”  The only other things from this season that I remember are Eric Roberts and Reginald VelJohnson both being so old that they really couldn’t dance, and Gene Simmons being the absolute worst and most creepy guest judge the show has ever had. 

When Season 34 rolled around, I was in a weird place, as it was at the time that The Masked Singer would have returned, but they had officially switched over to a format of one season a year, so I figured I would watch that season of Dancing With The Stars, as I had learned that one of my friends was a fan of the show, and I had seen that some celebrities that I cared about were on that season, including three more Masked Singer Alums. While I don’t remember everything about last season, I feel qualified enough to say this: Andy Richter lasted way longer than he should have. Seriously, I am now about to say the names of the contestants that all should have lasted longer than him: Lauren Jauregui, Hilaria Baldwin, Jen Affleck, and Danielle Fishel. I genuinely think that they were all better than him, and I’m not even a fan of Hilaria Baldwin at all, nor am I even familiar with Jen Affleck in any way whatsoever. Also, I’m genuinely shocked that Whitney Leavitt did not make it to The Finale. I truly feel like she was one of the strongest ones there, and she genuinely could have won. Also, and I’m just going to say this right now, everything about Elaine Hendrix on the show was incredibly wholesome. Seriously, the fact that her Parent Trap costar Lisa Ann Walter was there every step of the way in the audience for every episode, and even visited her in the hospital when she injured herself due to being on the show, is the kind of friendship that everyone should strive to achieve. 

So, now that I’ve got all my rambling nonsense out of the way, let’s talk about the upcoming season, Season 35! 

At the time that I am writing this, they have just announced who will be competing on this season, and also who they will be paired with, so here is everybody who will be on this season!

Up first we have new addition from last season Jan Ravnik, who has been paired with Tatyana Ali from The Fresh Prince Of Bel Air. I feel that she does have the potential of being a good dancer, though I can’t ignore the fact that she is competing on a show that is hosted by her former costar Alfonso Ribeiro, and I am positive that the show will not ignore this either.

Up next we have returning favorite Sharna Burgess, who has been paired with Tyler Cameron from The Bachelorette. Upon looking at her Wikipedia page, I have noticed that she is someone who can be hit or miss depending on who she is paired with. I mean, while she has been paired with celebrities who made it far in the competition, and even to The Finale like Charlie White, Nick Carter, and James Hinchcliffe, she has also been paired with other celebrities like Andy Dick, Derek Fisher, Jesse Metcalfe, and her literal actual fiance Brian Austin Green. Just based on what I have seen over the years, a lot of these reality stars tend to make it far in the show, so Tyler Cameron could be there for a while.

Up next we have Alan Bersten, who has been paired with celebrity chef Giada De Laurentiis. First of all, one quick look at his Wikipedia page showed me that he tends to go relatively far in the competition, minus his first season and two other seasons, so unless Giada doesn’t have the moves at all, she could be there for a while. Also, it is genuinely surprising how few Food Network personalities have been contestants. Literally the only other one is Rocco DiSpirito. What, did they not think they could get Bobby Flay? Is Alex Guarnaschelli not who they want on their show? Did they even try to reach out to Geoffrey Zakarian? Was Duff Goldman so embarrassed by his accident on The Masked Singer that he has sworn off all other competition shows? Is Guy Fieri just completely out of budget for the show?

Up next we have one of the most famous dancers on the show: Val Chmerkovskiy, who has been paired with actress and dancer Jenna Dewan. From looking at his Wikipedia, he has almost consistently been one of the strongest dancers there, and has found himself in The Finale many times, with three wins, and this season should be no different, especially considering Jenna herself is already a dancer. 

Up next we have recent addition Daniella Karagach, who has been paired with Paralympic track & field athlete Ezra Frech. From looking at her Wikipedia page, she has fairly consistently made it far in the competition with whoever she is paired with, so there is a chance that will still be the case here, and if she does so with a Paralympic athlete, that would just be very inspiring in my opinion.

Up next we have another one of the most popular dancers on the show: Pasha Pashkov, who has been paired with figure skater Amber Glenn. From just looking at this guy’s track record on Wikipedia, he has gotten the short end of the stick so many times. I mean, he has been a part of the show since Season 28, and he has only made it far in the competition three times, and only made it to The Finale once. The only times he went far was when he was paired with Kate Flannery, Ariana Madix, and Danielle Fishel. All his other seasons, he was paired with Carole Baskin of all people, Christine Chiu from Bling Empire, Teresa Giudice, and Tori Spelling. But I feel that this season could be good for him, as figure skaters tend to do well on the show, and sometimes even win, like Apolo Ohno and Adam Rippon, so Amber Glenn might help him get far again.

Up next is Britt Stewart, who has been paired with Taylor Hanson from pop group Hanson, who is this season’s cross pollination with The Masked Singer. Okay, you remember how I said that Pasha has gotten the short end of the stick so many times? Of course you do, you just read it. Well, Britt gets it even worse. With the exception of Johnny Weir and Daniel Durant, it seems like she gets paired with celebrities that just sabotage how well she does. I mean seriously, she has been paired with Martin Kove, Adrian Peterson, Eric Roberts, and Baron Davis. And all four of those celebrities I just said lasted either two or four episodes. That’s not even an exaggeration, that’s literally what I saw on her Wikipedia page. This is a betrayal on levels no one has ever seen. A million points to anyone who understands that reference. Hopefully, by being paired with Taylor Hanson, who is not an athlete unfamiliar with the artistry that goes into dancing or somebody who is almost 80 or 70, she will make it to at least the other half of the competition. 

Up next is Mark Ballas, who has been part of the series longer than any of the other dancers this season, and has been paired with reality star Maura Higgins. From looking at his Wikipedia page, it seems that how well he does in the competition depends on who he’s paired with. Yes, I know, that’s a shocking revelation. But what I mean is that while most of the celebrities he gets paired with have gone far, there are two very glaring exceptions that lasted two weeks and three weeks respectively, and seeing who they are should not be surprising. They are Shannen Doherty (RIP), who had a reputation for being very difficult to work with, and Kim Kardashian. Yeah, you probably didn’t remember that Kim Kardashian was on Dancing With The Stars. But for the most part, he does surprisingly well or even great with whoever he is paired with, so maybe Maura Higgins will be no exception.

Up next is Adele Zaikman, who just won the series Dancing With The Stars: The Next Pro, and has been paired with Conner Leavitt from The Secret Lives Of Mormon Wives. I can’t really pass judgment on Adele Zaikman, since she is new, and I didn’t watch Dancing With The Stars: The Next Pro, but Connor Leavitt’s wife Whitney was a contestant last season, and she was amazing, so if he’s as good as his wife, she could have a great debut season.

Up next is Brandon Armstrong, who has been paired with Ciara Miller from Summer House. If there is anybody who has been absolutely robbed consistently on the show, it’s him. I mean, he typically gets paired with fairly strong dancers, like Tinashe, Kenya Moore, Jordin Sparks, Lele Pons, and Lauren Jauregui, and they all got eliminated way earlier than they should have been. I mean, I remember when I first saw Lauren Jauregui get eliminated. I was genuinely shocked by what had just happened. So, either the same thing will happen this time, or he will get lucky and not get robbed again, or she will not be a good dancer and it won’t matter if she gets eliminated early.

Up next is Hailey Bills, an alumni of Dancing With The Stars Junior who joined the cast this season and is paired with Sarah Jane Nader from the reality show Love Thy Nader, whose sister Brooks was already on Season 33. I have no idea what to expect here, but it will be interesting to see if either one of them is a good addition to the show.

Up next is Emma Slater, who has been paired with Jackson Olson from Savannah Bananas. From looking at her Wikipedia page, it appears that she gets a serious contender as her partner only a handful of times, like Rashad Jennings or James Van Der Beek, while a lot of the time, she gets stuck with the ones that are not going to be good or improve over the course of the season like Billy Dee Williams, Rick Perry for some reason, Charles Oakley, Reginald VelJohnson, and Andy Richter. As Jackson Olson is already something of a dancer, he could get her a win.

Up next is Witney Carson, who has been paired with Guillermo Rodriguez from Jimmy Kimmel Live. I am just going to say this right now, Guillermo is absolutely going to be this season’s Andy Richter in more ways than one. Not only are they both sidekicks to beloved late night talk show hosts, I can absolutely see him falling into the role of guy who is not good at dancing, but he’s just so wholesome that you can’t help but love him. Whether or not he will get as far as Andy Richter did is another matter entirely. Also, allow me to go on a series of tangents right now. Witney has got to be the most patient and understanding person in the world if she is willing to work with Guillermo, as from looking at her Wikipedia page, she very consistently makes it far in the competition every season, with two notable exceptions being Vanilla Ice and Chris Kattan. I mean, she literally won last season with Robert Irwin, and now she is with someone who may very well be the first one eliminated. This has got to be some sort of joke among the producers on the show, that whoever won the previous season gets paired with someone that definitely won’t win. I mean, Jenna Johnson won Season 33 with Joey Graziadei, and was the first one out in Season 34 with Corey Feldman. 

Speaking of Jenna Johnson, she is up next and paired with Harry Shum Jr. from Glee. She is someone who gets paired with celebrities who are either the strongest dancers there, or the absolute worst. I mean, even though she has been paired with Adam Rippon, Nev Schulman, JoJo Siwa, and Joey Graziadei, she has also been paired with Jake T. Austin, Tyson Beckford, and Corey Feldman. Considering that he is also a dancer, I think that Harry Shum Jr. could get her to The Finale.

Up next is Ezra Sosa, who only joined in Season 33, and is paired with actress and director Julia Stiles. Even though he has only been on two seasons at this point, the celebrities he was paired with could not be more of a juxtaposition if you tried. In his first season, he was one of the first ones out with Anna Delvey, and last season, he made it to The Finale with Jordan Chiles. As for this season, he could potentially go far, as Julia Stiles starred in the movie Save The Last Dance, where she played a ballet dancer.

Last up is Rylee Arnold, who only joined in Season 32, and is paired with stand up comedian and podcaster Connor Wood. Okay, if the fact that she is only a recent addition to the show wasn’t enough for her to be compared to Ezra, then the juxtaposition of all three celebrities she has been paired with is also worthy of a comparison. In her first season, she got paired with reality star Harry Jowsey, who apparently lasted way longer than he should have, then she got paired with Olympic artistic gymnast Stephen Nederoscik, who actually made it to The Finale, and then she got paired with Scott Hoying from Pentatonix, who was not as good as I was expecting at all. I guess the ability to sing intricate a cappella harmonies is completely different from the ability to dance. And I honestly don’t know if this season is going to be any different for her, as Connor Wood is a comedian and podcaster with no prior dancing experience whatsoever.

Yeah, so that’s everything you can expect for this upcoming season of Dancing With The Stars. I somehow had way more to say about it than I ever thought I would. 

Still, in order to get into the right mindset for writing about the show, I’m probably going to have to do research on what goes into various different styles of dances, what makes them good, what are common mistakes, and also watch highlights from past seasons, take notes based on my own observations and what the judges say, and hopefully get ready to actually do write-ups for the show, and not get mad at my cousins for dragging me into the world of Dancing With The Stars. 

I hope you all enjoyed reading this blog post, and I’ll see you all soon when the season actually starts! I am simultaneously looking forward to this and dreading it…!