Fear Night

After an amazing premiere last week, it was time for the next episode, which was Fear Night! I was greatly looking forward to this episode, as unlike how many of the recent seasons have worked, we were going to meet five new contestants, as opposed to seeing the contestants we had just seen last week with maybe one wildcard contestant. I was also intrigued by two contestants due to the trailers, but I’m getting ahead of myself. I’ll address them when I get to them.

The episode literally picked up where the premiere ended, which was the unmasking of The Croissants. If you remember anything from my writeup of the premiere, you probably remember who I said they were. Well, everybody was right, as The Croissants were revealed to be Todd & Julie Chrisley.

I am sure that a million thoughts are going through all of your heads right now, so I’m just going to leave it at this. This has got to be the first instance of a real life example of the Family Guy quote of someone who has been problematic in the past doing something with a knowing wink to who they are and all is forgiven.

From there, it was officially time for Fear Night to start, and Johnny Knoxville walked out to the stage as the guest clue giver for the episode, as he is the new host of the show Fear Factor: House Of Fear, and he also said that he came “merely bearing gifts,” which naturally had Nick Cannon and the panelists concerned.

From there, it was time for the first performer of the night, which was Le Who Who, which is a parody of the popular Labubu dolls. As a way of showing off the kind of person she was, the very first thing she did when she got on stage was lift up the front of the dress on the costume and flash the underwear that was also on the costume. I’m not going to get into her clue package, because spoiler alert, she ended up getting unmasked by the end of the night! 

After her clue package, she gave a very fun and energetic performance of One Way Or Another by Blondie. So, here’s a quick little story for all of you. This performance was released a day before the episode actually aired, and when I first heard it, within seconds I was convinced that it was Leslie Jones. When I went to the internet, I saw that almost everybody was saying that it was Tiffany Haddish, which I felt made sense, as she has been on basically every other major game show, but I also remembered that last week, she posted that she knew someone who was on this season, and the show also shared it to their story, and I didn’t think they would give someone away just like that.

After her performance, she continued to show off what type of person she is by lifting up the back of her dress and flashing her underwear again. 

As a form of extra clues for all the contestants, Johnny Knoxville would come out with boxes full of disgusting things with clues buried underneath that the panelists would have to dig through to get. The first victim was Rita, who had to dig through a box-sized tank of red rat snakes to retrieve the clue, during which Le Who Who was also getting VERY comfortable around Nick. 

The additional clue for Le Who Who was a note that said “EGOT Loading 50%,” at which point I realized that she was definitely none other than Tiffany Haddish who has already won an Emmy Award and a Grammy Award, which also surprised me, as I didn’t think the show would allow contestants to blatantly say that they knew someone who was on the show, when in actuality they were talking about themselves.

The second performer of the night was High Voltage. In his clue package, he said that when he first began his career, the idea of blending in was his biggest fear, as he was always more interested in being a leader in his field, as sometimes you have to get a little crazy to draw a lot of attention. He then said that he listened to his gut and billions took notice, and people were suddenly plugged in, and he has also been called a patriot and a revolutionary that has changed the fabric of American culture. Visual clues included canisters of grease, a bald eagle, and a coffee mug with Earth on it. 

He then went on to give an amazing performance of Everybody Wants To Rule The World by Tears For Fears, which was a slowed down version that allowed him to show off all the power in his voice.

After the performance, Johnny Knoxville returned with a clue that Robin had to open, and he had to reach into a tank with a Rose Hair Tarantula to get the clue out, which was a not that said “Rose Bowl.” 

I agree with the popular guess on the internet, which is that High Voltage is former soccer player turned singer Alexi Lalas. The head on the costume is literally a soccer ball, the canisters of grease are because he is of Greek descent, The coffee cup with the Earth on it is because he played a World Cup, he played at the Rose Bowl for the World Cup in 1994, and he played for the US National Team and the New England Revolution.

The next performer of the night was Calla Lily. In her clue package, she said that lilies represent life’s beauty, the happy and the sad, and that she was recently reminded how precious it all is. She then said that the doctors didn’t catch it at first, but she knew something was wrong, so she pushed back and needed answers, and when they told her the diagnosis, her world stopped. She then said that she thought about her children, and chose to face her fears and fight, and it seems to be working. She still has good days and bad ones, but when the opportunity to be on the show popped up, she jumped at it. Visual clues included a diamond ring, a picture of her with three children, a white dove, and a watering can with an anchor.

She then went on to give an emotional and powerful performance of Fight Song by Rachel Platten, which I thought was perfect for her voice.

After the performance, Johnny Knoxville returned with a box full of live sewer rats that Jenny had to reach inside of to get the clue, which was a note that had a film slate on it. 

I agree with the popular guess on the internet, which is that Calla Lily is Teddi Mellencamp. The diamond ring is referring to her time on The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, she does have three children, and the white dove and the film slate are referring to two of their names, and she had a multi-year battle with stage 4 melanoma that metastasized to her brain and lungs, and as of last year, her scans have shown no detectable cancer.

The next performer of the night was The Owl. Before I get into anything about him, I’m going to share with you all a story about the journey I went on with figuring out who he was. In the trailer for this episode, it showed Rita saying Nathan Lane and Robin saying Martin Short, and then Ken guessing Matthew McConaughey. I assumed this meant that these guesses were all for the same contestant, so I figured Owl was a celebrity with musical theatre experience like Jason Alexander, Tony Danza, David Hyde Pierce, or Joe Mantegna, and that Ken saying Matthew McConaughey was just one of his usual crazy guesses that was not serious. Early in the day, before the episode premiered, the songs that each contestant was going to perform were revealed, and when I saw what he was going to sing, all I could think to myself was “I literally can’t see a musical theatre star, or even any professional singer, singing this song. I will get to the song in a bit, but for now, let’s just say it’s a song that had already been performed on the show in the past in what is literally one of the worst performances of the whole series.

In his clue package, he said that when he took flight, you couldn’t go anywhere without hearing his name, and some people even started following his look. He then said that there were also the comments, and his biggest fear became people laughing at him, and not with him. He then said that he didn’t listen, and instead focused on himself and his family, and eventually, life gave him the chance to do something so big, the haters were all eating their words. Visual clues included a kite with a spyglass on it, movie popcorn, and a reindeer.

Okay, I’ve built up his performance for long enough, and now, here it is.

He chose to perform Wild Thing by The Troggs, a song that has very few lyrics already, most of which are just the same things repeated, and was already performed by Danny Trejo many seasons ago, in what can best be described as a performance that sounds less like singing and more like aggressive and deranged screaming of lyrics to a song while music happens to be playing in the background. 

Not only was I perplexed by this choice of song, the performance then started and completely threw me off. The person singing sounded like he was an old man, at least when I could hear him, because the first time I heard the performance, it seemed like the instrumentals and backing vocals were drowning him out, and I had to throw out all my guesses, because they sounded nothing like the guy singing and the clues applied to absolutely none of them. 

In short, that was just a complicated way of me saying I had an early guess that could not have been more wrong, was confused by the bizarre song choice, and found that he was not the best singer at all, but there was something very fascinating about his performance.

After the performance, Johnny Knoxville returned with a tank filled with African giant millipedes for Ken to dig through, and inside was a note with a goat on it.

I agree with the popular guess on the internet, which is that Owl is none other than, and I can’t believe I’m saying this, Billy Ray Cyrus.

Yes, THAT Billy Ray Cyrus.

One of the greatest mullets of all time, that Billy Ray Cyrus.

The guy who sings Achy Breaky Heart, that Billy Ray Cyrus.

Father of one of the greatest singers of our time, that Billy Ray Cyrus.

The spyglass is referring to his role in the movie The Spy Next Door, the reindeer is referring to him voicing a reindeer in the movie Glisten and the Merry Mission, him saying that everyone was copying his look and then making fun of him is referring to his mullet, he was also considered a joke, had a comeback with Old Town Road, focused on his family with Hannah Montana, the goat is referring to his literal actual name, and to top it all off, his daughter Noah Cyrus posted to her story hours beforehand that she knew who one of the contestants was this season.

The final performer of the night was The Eggplant. Okay, if you thought I went on a crazy journey with Owl, then I went on an even crazier journey with Eggplant. As soon as I saw the costume for the first time in a trailer, I was convinced that he was going to be terrible, as the costume looked so weird, like Grimace from McDonalds, and it also reminded me of past costumes Avocado and Pickle, both of which were terrible singers. Things only got even more confusing with all the trailers and promotional posters that got released at this time, as one of the promotional posters for the season was just Eggplant with the words “Big Mask Energy.” Yeah, you definitely know what they are referring to, and they absolutely knew what they were doing, that is not an accident. Then, I saw in all his appearances in the trailers, he clearly had THREE different performance backgrounds. So, at this point, all I could think was “what kind of person is willing to dress up in a costume that looks like Grimace, is okay with being used on a promotional poster to make THAT JOKE, and is still good enough to have three performances?” Well, now I have my answer.

In his clue package, it was presented as a campaign video, and he explained why he was the perfect candidate for winner of The Masked Singer. He said that he has five decades worth of experience playing in many fields, stands up for the people, represents the rock stars, ship captains, and a whole lot of lovers, and when it comes to connections, he has schmoozed with people like Jason Bateman, Jack Nicholson, and Clint Eastwood. Visual clues included an eggplant with a band-aid on it, a baby eggplant wearing sunglasses, gold coins, red swim shorts, a red police siren, and the back of the costume has a sticker that says B&B Produce.

He then went on to give an amazing performance of Rocket Man by Elton John, during which he showed off all the power and emotion he has in his voice.

After the performance, Johnny Knoxville returned with a tank full of Madagascar hissing cockroaches for Nick to dig through, and inside was a note that said “Broadway.”

I agree with the popular guess on the internet, which is that Eggplant is actor, singer, and golfer Jack Wagner. The eggplant with a band-aid on it is referring to his role on General Hospital, the red flashing sirens is also referring to his role on General Hospital, the red swim shorts is referring to the iconic red shorts his character always wore on General Hospital and his role in the TV movie Swimsuit, he played a rock star on General Hospital, he played a ship captain on The Bold & The Beautiful, all the political clues could be referring to the fact that there is a famous politician from Pennsylvania with the same name, he starred with Jason Bateman in the movie Moving Target, he has played golf with Clint Eastwood before, and apparently Jack Nicholson was also an avid golfer, so maybe he also played golf with him, he starred in the title role in Jekyll & Hyde on Broadway, and the B&B Produce sticker is referring to his role on The Bold & The Beautiful and him being an executive producer on The Wedding March movies for Hallmark.

After that, it was time for the unmasking, and the contestant with the least amount of votes, was revealed to be Le Who Who, which did not surprise me, but it certainly surprised my parents, who thought that Owl was weaker.

Le Who Who was then unmasked, and the internet and Rita were proven to be right yet again, as she was revealed to be Tiffany Haddish. 

Also, I am just going to say this right now, her unmasking is one of the funniest moments of the entire show, and clearly the show realized this, as they uploaded her full unmasked interview to YouTube, and it lasts a total of ten minutes. I’m not going to repeat anything she said, but let’s just say almost all of it had to do with her and Nick Cannon, and when she performed her unmasked encore of One Way Or Another, she literally started chasing Nick around the stage.

Overall, this was another great episode of Season 14 of The Masked Singer! I hope you all enjoyed what I had to say, and I’ll see you all next week in Clueless Night!